Pay for it

Shit I want to get mad. I want to feel it. I used to get so used.

Naraan got cut years ago. Some who-gives-a-shits took his handle clean off with a blade. We all felt so bad when he went quiet. I have two stickers on me. A Misfits thing and a Garbage Pail Kid. You can't read them, the way they're all dirty.

I work. I still work. There's a guy that uses me. He calls his granddaughter every couple of weeks. He wants her to do things for him, but she's always busy.

Dina is quiet. Not sure when she broke. She's probably broke. No one's come around to fix her.

Sometimes I would feel real grateful. Excited. Someone would come over. Finger in for change. It was something.

And then sometimes I would hate them. Smell their breath. People dial and no one picks up because they don't recognize my number. They're wasting quarters in me.

What if Dina is just faking? Can I do that? Someone picks up and I play dead? Do I have to dial tone? What would choosing feel like?

But now it's just… They mostly don't bother. I mostly don't feel nothing. I have nothing worth cutting.

There's going to be a van that comes by some day. People are going to want to have flowers here on the curb. Okay, maybe just grass. Or maybe just more curb. So this van will scoop up Naraan, Dina, and me. They’ll dig up the wires and put down something nicer. Someone's got to care about this city. They'll come by and fix this place so people like it more.

Someone comes by once a month to empty my belly. She always checks Dina and Naraan too. One time, she found a couple nickels inside Naraan. How did that happen? When did I miss some people feeding nickles to him? Was I sleeping? Am I losing time?

Cars at my back. They built me in a little box that keeps most of the rain out. It's open in front. I can see people walk up and check my handle. They hear the tone and they get all giddy to find a pay phone. They go wow, a working one out in the wild. And they laugh. It's just words to me. They take pictures of me with their little pocket pieces.

I want to leave a note here. Water the grass. That's what I want them to do. Make this spot nice. Make it so people like it here.

I just want to get mad again.