Yellow in the Fullness

It's just a tiny, little fern. I set it up on the mantel above the fireplace so it would grow tits. The dry heat rising from the fire helped it along. Took about a week to show. I was careful not to water it too much. I didn't want to plump them too heavy, or have them sag into the soil. It's tricky to get them to grow like you want them. Little, perky tits.

Stephanie at the garden club loves showing off hers. Last week she had this little bonsai rhodedendron growing out of a hollowed bowling ball. Nipples! It had nipples! I don't know how she does it. She's gotta be pruning them back and working a second growth. I don't know.

But she's so smug about it. Everyone asks about her titties and she gets all coy, "Oh trade secrets. Traaaade secrets." Such a bitch.

Mine are firm with a light green shading. They get more yellow at their fullness. I was thinking about growing them out to B-cups, but the longer I look at them, the happier I get with the A. Also, the fern is too light and feathery. Big breasts would bend it down. They look nice up there, peeking at me as I glance over the fire. They're not perfect, but they're mine.

Stephanie can go die in a fire.