Overwrought Analogy

So there's this party, but they're running low on drinks. So now everyone lines up, holding on to tiny, paper cups and stands patiently waiting their turn. It's really hot. The sun's out, beaming down. No one wants to leave the party so they all just stand there in the line.

I'm way toward the back. I honestly doubt they'll have anything let by the time I get up there. I wander out of the line and everyone's looking at me like I'm crazy. They don't say anything, though. Maybe they're hoping with one less guy, they might get two drinks.

So I get a chance to explore around a bit. Sure, I'm thirsty as hell, but maybe there's something else to do.

The house is beautiful. There's this big garden with all these flowers in bloom and bright green vines climbing up a trellis. I go back to the line to tell some people about it. They nod and smile. It's nice and all, but it's hot and they're thirsty. They don't want to risk their spot in the line. I can't really blame them, If I was closer to the counter, I wouldn't want to leave either.

So I wander away and check out the other side of the house. Holy Shit! There's a pool. I mean, it's not well kept or anything, but it's a pool. In fact, there's a layer of algae scum floating around the top, and the water is grey and murky. Still though, hot day, pool. I bend down and touch it. It feels cool.

Well damn, I got nothing better to do. I dip my whole head in. It's awesome. The water is all tingley like it's carbonated. I feel great. I pull my head out and use my shirt to towel my face. I have to go tell everyone.

So I run back and my hair is dripping all over the place. I'm telling them about the pool and how it's dirty and weird, but awesome. The mutter and shift their weight around nervously. They still don't want to leave, but a good head soak sounds like a good idea.

I'm begging and dancing around, trying to convince them. Finally we work out a system where a few people stay behind to watch the line. The rest write their names on their cups and place them on the ground, saving their spots.

So I lead a whole bunch of people to the other side of the house. When they see the pool, some of them laugh out loud, like it's a joke. But no, I'm serious. I really like it. I dive right in with all my clothes. It feels even better with my whole body in there. I fucking love this.

I swim to the surface to tell them. A clump of algae sticks to my face and dangles like a booger. I'm smiling and asking them to try it out, jump in. They look at my face and slowly inch away. They don't want to lose their place in line. They hurry back.

I swim for an hour or so, then clean up and head back to check on everyone. They don't see me at first. I over hear them talking.

"Can you believe that guy?"
"Yeah, what an asshole, trying to ruin the party,"
"He's just upset because he knew he wasn't going to get a drink. He wanted to ruin it for all of us,"
"God, what a creep,"
"Hey I bet he had his pants off in there. I bet he was going to grope people who went swimming,"
"He probably had his dick out,"
"What a pervert,"